If I Were President . . .
I’m sure we all remember John Kerry’s disenchanting drone during the 2004 Presidential Election “If I were President I would make sure that every single American had adequate health care and a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts each week.” Aren’t presidential election memories grand? Senatory Kerry was at his hopeful 2004 presidential candidate best (and hopeful 2008 presidential candidate best) yesterday on the Senate floor.
Senator Kerry droned the following as he was complaining about the Republican’s threat to constitutionally break the Democrats judicial filibuster of President Bush’s judicial nominees:
There is nothing in our Constitution or our history to suggest that the nominee of any President is so special as to be excused from the scrutiny of the minority or granted immunity from the tools of democracy that protect that minority.
I didn’t win, but I can guarantee this: Had I been President, I would not have contemplated supporting or sending a request to change what I have viewed as something of value in the entire time I have been here in the Senate. Never would have occurred to me. It would have occurred to me to send people up here who could win the support of people on both sides. It would have occurred to me to bring the members of the Judiciary Committee together and sit them down and work together to come to a common understanding of what sort of standard we ought to apply and let the American people share that standard.
This is great stuff, Senator. Not only do you admit you LOST, but you have given us Americans another sore loser jeremiad that pangs our hearts with regret that you LOST. Well, forget the regret part. Kerry is still suffering from Goreophrenia: a delusional mental disorder that prompts the Presidential Election loser to fantasize and pretend that he or she actually is President of the United States. I wonder what else John Kerry would have done if he were President . . .?
If I were President, I wouldn’t have told Newsweek to retract their story about U.S. soldiers flushing the Muslim Bible down the toilet, I would have got Newsweek on the phone and we would have discussed the issue. After agreeing that it was an unfortunate mistake, I would have held a press conference praising the Muslim Holy Book and then canceling my subscription (which Teresa pays for) to Newsweek. Did I mention I read Newsweek while serving in Vietnam?
Yeah, something like that.